Someone turned the tapes off!

I used to be one angry man. Yea, so Sunday is supposed to be the Lord’s day right? Well for me it was MY DAY. In fact every day was MY DAY. I was in charge, in control and most definitely really out of control. I was screwed up. So when God did a work in my life the most amazing things started to happen. 

First of all when I accepted the love of God I stopped being mad just in general. Normally I’d have some issue simmering on the back burner. You know something to complain about, more often someone to complain about whose case I’d been working on. Rehearsing all the ways they’d done me wrong! How they spoke badly or even worse not spoken at all, how they acted unfairly, didn't return my call, my text, my e-mail, making me suffer. You get the picture; it was all about me. I spent way too much time obsessing over some slight, real or imagined. You know just a little something to do in my spare time. When I wasn’t really mad about something.

And you gotta know that a good telemarketer was OK for a little break: how rude they were, or how they shouldn’t have called at dinner time, or that late or that early or at ALL!! My list of what's wrong with the schools, the court system, the welfare program, the country, most families, these were nice in a pinch; for a little side action. But telemarketers, customer service folks, or my list were just appetizers for the main course, the real meal deal was nearly always with family or church members. Now you’re talking! 

These were the ones who “should know better”, “what kind of Christian are they!”, “so what makes them qualified to be a deacon?”, “why are they leading worship, saying prayers, singing solos?”, “why are they so special?”, “who does she think she is?”, “you know what I heard?”, “mom always liked him better.”, “I remember when . . .”  The list just went on and on. It was never ending, it was crazy and would bleed the life from everyone around and from me too. Plus it was in direct violation of what God says to think on and to do. But that wasn’t my priority. I was in control.

When I finally came to the end of myself God did a job on me. How do I know? Let me tell you! Like I said I initially found my anger wasn’t so omnipresent. That was weird but very nice. Then I found that the folks I really disliked were not on my hit list anymore. In fact I'd lost my hit list. What gives, I thought? But, hey it was nice too.

Then one of my big annual anger events came along. The Ladies Retreat. How could that make you angry you ask? Oh I found a way. I normally did. That's crazy you say? I know but that was the way I did it; that's the way I ran the show. Anyway the unsuspecting ladies at church had just come back from a retreat without my wife. The fact that she did not want to go made no difference to me; after all they should have begged her to go! So I stood in the back of the church looking over the situation and suddenly realized that my thinking wasn’t working. I wasn’t hearing something I should have been hearing. What was it? Ahhhh! The soundtrack of accusations against the ladies wasn't playing: “huh! some spiritual giants they are! So they had a good time did they?, well why aren’t they over ministering to my wife who didn’t get to go?!!” But I wasn’t hearing any of that, I twiddled with the volume, but still the tapes weren’t playing! WOW! Extremely nice!

Then the perfect storm hit. A deacon, who I really didn’t like and who I knew should “never have been made a deacon”  went by without showing the proper respect due me and I had no reaction. Nothing. That poor deacon got by unscathed. On the way home it was peaceful in the car.  We had dinner without me roasting anyone, without the sarcastic and biting seasonings of my distain. Now just what is going on here I thought. I still wasn’t getting it but I knew something was wrong. Very wrong.

It took me some time before I realized that God had changed me! When I accepted Him He changed me. It was unbelievable! After 60 years my standard operating procedures were suddenly set aside. It was flat out shocking. Someone had turned off the tapes. The old programs had been preempted, cancelled. I tell others I am vacation from myself. But now, even better still, I know that the old man has been buried and that I am risen with Christ! He changed me. This isn’t just a vacation it is the new day and the new way. 


Oh, and you know that poor deacon? Well I saw him tonight and I hugged him and said, “I love you man!” And you know what? I do. Can you imagine a God that good! Can you imagine what’s ahead?! God knows, He says in Jeremiah 29.11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Now, tell me, how good is that?! I’m so glad God turned destroyed the tapes.