NGZ: No Gossip Zone

No man I know wants to admit to the gossip habit. I mean we all consider gossip something the ladies do. Not the men.  (Sorry ladies!) Yet if you do a quick search on the internet you will find out different. Bob Burg, an author and speaker admits, “I was, for many years, very much a gossip”. Now that takes guts. To admit to being a gossip in a public place takes guts. So, deep breath, I am a gossip. There, I’ve said it.

We can have a long discussion on what gossip is and isn’t but essentially it’s information of a personal nature, about someone else,  being shared for ulterior motives. Like the gossip being “important” enough to have the inside scoop. Or the gossiper getting “one up” on someone who is obviously weaker or not as “with it” as the reporter. Often the gossiper will use others as stepping stones to make themselves feel worthy or comfortable with themselves. To feel secure. I think I used my gossip as a power tool and to make me feel more secure about my own self. 

Gossip, as a habit, does not just go away because we are saved just as smoking does not normally just go away. God can do it but it isn't typical. Rather God allows these behaviors to be points of trust and growth as we turn to Him in our helplessness to overcome these habits. Some readers might consider the comparison of smoking with gossip as “unfair”. After all smoking is a stinking, nasty habit that affects everyone who has to be around it! Right. And so does gossip. I liked my gossip filtered. Some like their gossip non-filtered. Either way it’s a nasty habit. 

BUT God can help us overcome the habit of gossip.  Gossip is easy to slip into during the course of a safe conversation so pray and ask God help you to know when you start gossiping. Also take note of the places and people with whom you engage in gossip with or around. And don’t assume the folks you gossip with want to gossip. Perhaps God has convicted them as well. Talk with them about how God is touching your heart but remember not to be critical or accusatory with them. Admit to your own fault and ask for their help. If they love you they will want to help. If they’re honest they will know that they, too, struggle with gossip. With God’s help these folks can become your best allies in the war against gossip. 

Don’t be discouraged if you fail, keep giving it to the Lord and asking his help. If you have the misfortune of knowing someone that is more judgmental than helpful remember that others carry baggage too. Take their criticism with a grain of salt, admit the fault and take it to the Lord. Don’t let it make you bitter towards them!

Make yourself a “No Gossip Zone” and remember the NGZ when you’re in a place where gossip might be an issue. I have some dear friends and I can almost guarantee that I will get involved in gossip if I sit at the kitchen table with some of the household members. I don’t think any of us mean to, it just happens! So I made a pact with myself to stay away from the table. Unfortunately the household has one who is quick to point out faults too, so it is a set up all the way around! Look out! Don’t expect the fault finders to be very helpful; they are into their own game. Someone has said it is easier to point out faults than solutions.

Thinking of solutions, here are some: always have some subjects thought of ahead of time to change the subject too if the conversation starts going off course. If all else fails just kindly mention that you feel uncomfortable with the direction the conversation is going as you have a struggle with gossip. This fits for anyone and puts the blame on no one. Remember the key is to be kind hearted and not critical! As a last resort retreat to the bathroom.

Gossip is like smoking, it is a hard habit to break but it can be done! Keep taking it to the Lord and He will give you the victory as it is His promise and desire to make you into the image of Christ Jesus! God Bless!