Our Response to Suffering

Most often we consider suffering as something the apostles or someone else goes through. You know, like cancer or some BIG thing. But knowing that all things are relative and knowing my own life experiences has allowed me to consider things a little differently then I have in the past. 

Before I got saved I was a bear to live with. To be very honest I still have a great tendency to be a bear to live with and to be brutally honest we all have things that make living with us a pain in the neck. 

Now I would not assume that being thrown in prison, as the apostles were, or being stoned or beaten is the same as living with me and yet living with one another does give us plenty of chances to approach suffering with a Godly response. The secret to blessings in our suffering, big or small, is: do we suffer obediently?

The book of James tell us to “count it all joy” when we have trials. We act as if this means something other than the spouse we live with, the children we have, or the people we live in fellowship with. Yet that is not true. The “trouble” or “trials” we go through with others calls for a Godly response just as assuredly as things we might consider a greater suffering. Our response in obedience will give just as great a blessing too! Sometimes our responses to the small things are a bit overblown. Been there, done that!

God knows what living with me is like so He was sure to include Eph 4.2 and Col. 3.13 in His letter to my wife. He knows what your family is like too! Both these verses admonish us to “bear with one another”.  One tells us outright to forgive one another the other tells us to live at peace in unity which certainly requires forgiveness.  

The blessing for us comes as we obey in matters big or small. Each is an opportunity to forgive and to make allowance for one another. Just recently I walked into a class and was told bluntly by a brother that I had been “stinking ever since I got baptized”.  I assume he meant the cologne I was wearing, at least I hope it was that!

I struggle with pride, so to be greeted like this was really an opportunity to bear with him. It took me a moment and I had to refresh my resolve in the following days as I had a bit of history with the fellow but God wants us to move on; I am able to do so as I think of how God has forgiven me and to take the chance to obey Him in the matter. 

Was it a small matter? Sure it was. But consider that the Bible says “it’s the small foxes that spoil the vine”.  (Song of Sol. 2.15) Small things do matter and our response to them matters even more. So the next time someone says something goofy to you or someone dear to you starts a tired refrain or behavior. Remember to count it all joy, bear with, make allowance and forgive them. God will bless your obedience!

Why Not Me?

I met Bernie about 24 years ago. He was a character! Bernie had retired from the Navy and was living in a large home up a driveway in the woods and he was always drunk. Carrie, his wife, lived with him and she was not a drunk. She was a Christian who prayed for Bernie every day that he might be saved and sober.

It was wonderful that, by the time I met Bernie, God had answered Carrie's prayers. Bernie was saved and sober and in charge of a ministry reaching out to others that were trapped as he had been. I was trapped when I met Bernie and it became a matter of envy and sometimes anger that God had delivered Bernie and that I remained unchanged. 

Bernie was not perfect BUT it did not take much time with him to know that Bernie was a new creature in Christ and I envied this. I had gone through all the same processes (I thought) and said the same prayers. I even got, what I believed was, the baptism of the Holy Spirit and yet I was not a new creature. 

So I found myself praying I John 1.9 over and over again and trusting that Proverbs 24.16 would someday be true for me. Yet I continued in my sin. How I longed to be free of the bondage of sin but I was powerless over it. I had only brief periods of victory divided by periods of the deepest and vilest sin. Bernie was a new creature but I most certainly was not. Why not me?

I was involved in what I wanted to believe was a walk of faith but it was actually a walk of fraud. I had come to even fool myself such was the deceit of my heart. All of this actually only confirmed what God has said about man. He knew long before I ever entered the scene of human history that this was the condition of the unsaved man and would be my condition unless He intervened.

If a man is to be a new creature it must be the work of God for most certainly it can never be, will never be, the work of man. All the works of man are reeking, filthy rags. I knew this and I found myself trapped in sin with no way out. Even God, I thought, had failed me. He had changed Bernie but I was not. God had rejected me just like I felt my earthly father had rejected me.

So I went through the motions. What else could I do? I was married, had one child and knew that I was responsible for these two others in life. So I hid my sin like Achan (Joshua 7) but it was not hidden from God. It affected my family and became a curse to us. It sucked any victory from my life and caused me to become a legalistic nut with  dictatorial relationships when I should have been loving and nurturing. 

My sin shut me off from real relationships and I was alone; without God and without any human help. Because I was not real I could have no real relationships. Those that I had were unsatisfactory because they could not meet the needs that I had, needs that only God could satisfy. I became unfair to others, demanding that they meet needs that God never intended and in doing so I drove many away. My dear, dear wonderful wife stayed faithful but it was not an easy journey for her. I do not blame those who jumped ship. Who would not?

I found myself dreading life but too self centered, too obsessed or “too something”, maybe too chicken, to end it. I had no choice but to go on as best as I could and each day and night followed one another with an endless smoldering anger and resentment towards others and towards God. How I longed to be free from myself but I could not be. Even if I left my family I would still have me and “me” was the problem. I knew it.

I took comfort in my wife and family, in the company of those saved and in the society of church but it was only the comfort of association not of real participation. At least it was some comfort in my sojourn. Looking back I am glad for that, it was God’s mercy to a lost man. Isn’t He good to even the lost? Yes, He is. He causes blessings even to the lost.

It was in March of 2012, right before I turned sixty, that a man who loved me, confronted me with my sin and then had the guts and the leading of the Holy Spirit to tell me that he loved me.

Here I was, finally real with someone, not by choice, not by any confession or even repentance on my part and he was saying he loved me. This I had to deny. It was not possible, no one could love me as I was, he was lying. He had to be. But then as the days past I was confronted by my God! My Heavenly Father who also told me He loved me, He said “I love you, I won’t leave you” 

When I accepted His love I found I could accept the love of everyone else and not only that but I had a love too. A love I never knew before. People I had hated suddenly I found myself loving! This was a shocker to me. Then I found that the old sin had no more power over me. I did not want to sin. This was incredible. 

It was during this time that I came to know with an absolute certainty that what had happened to me was what had happened to Bernie! I had gotten saved. I was a new creature in Christ Jesus, new things were coming to be true in my life and God was changing me! My sojourn was over.

Today I am still growing. I still struggle with sins. Gossip, anger and the such BUT I also know love, joy, peace, self control. Things only the Holy Spirit could give to a man. Things that God in His rich mercy now is portioning out to me with and through His generous Spirit. Oh I am free! Praise be to God, to Jesus and His Spirit, I am free. I am at rest in Him. There is hope for the hopeless and it is in Christ Jesus who made the way to Peace. Come join me.

THROWING STONES
Then all the congregation of the children of Israel set out on their journey from the Wilderness of Sin, according to the commandment of the Lord, and camped in Rephidim; but there was no water for the people to drink. Therefore the people contended with Moses, and said, "Give us water, that we may drink." And Moses said to them, "Why do you contend with me? Why do you tempt the Lord?" And the people thirsted there for water, and the people murmured against Moses, and said, "Why is it you have brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?"  Exodus 17.1-3

I have some dear friends who are devote catholics. While we disagree on some really important issues, issues that may affect even matters of salvation, I know that at other times they are right on. When a pastor we knew came under attack our friends commented that it was wrong to attack the pastor and that people should be careful of how they treat those who serve in leadership to the body of Christ. 

I have to admit that I agree with them on that one! How easy is it to see the negative. I've got 20/20 vision for the negatives. And how quickly I neglect all the scriptural injunctions to live at peace with and to love one another. Specific commands to not divide the Church and to bear with one another, to not think more highly of others than ourselves are a real reminders from God Himself, to take it very, very slow when coming against church leadership.

Yet, driven by my own pride, I often neglect these commands and, wrapped in the pretentious garb of moral and spiritual integrity, I dismiss God's way and do what I want instead. The results are often immediate, devastating, and heart breaking. When faced with these sorts of conditions I need to be sure to seriously pray about the issue and seek council. 

Pray for your leaders. They are the shepherds and come under a more severe judgement for what they teach and how they manage their responsibilities. If someone comes with a complaint do not hear it; direct them to handle it in a scriptural manner.  Remember do not judge the folks personally, for we fight not against flesh and blood but against spiritual powers. Pray for one another. Also remember the old adage, "There but for the grace of God go I."

Do not tempt the Lord by attacking your leaders because God does not look on it favorably, guard against being driven by passions or a hobby horse. Wait upon the Lord, we often move faster than we ought when we are driven by our passions. I know this from personal experience. You, dear reader, can do better!

Why My Opinion Doesn’t Matter

Saturday I was at Costco pumping gas and noticed the price had dropped. I commented to the attendant and we had a short discussion about the gas crisis before he got called away to help another customer having trouble with a pump. Afterwards I reflected about this. What had I accomplished? What does sharing my opinion on social or political matters really accomplish? 

Later, that evening, I was sitting quiet and my wife asked me what I was thinking about. I was thinking about not wasting time with my opinion and the talk I’d had earlier. It was strange because I couldn’t remember what the conversation had even been about. In fact it took me some time to recall where it took place and what it was about. But I did know this one thing: I had wasted God’s opportunity to witness to a man who likely needed to know Jesus. 

Thankfully during the rest of the day I was able to tell 6 other people that Jesus had changed my life. We pulled into a car wash run by some marines and I was able to give out 5 tracks and invitations as different fellows came by with hose, squeegee, towels and the such. Then at a retail store I was able to talk with a lady manager. I don’t remember the names of all these folks but what really matters is that I took God’s opportunity and did something of eternal value with it. If the statement “For to me to live is Christ” is true then won’t I be telling others about Him? How dare I even imagine I am being obedient if I am not telling others about Him? And what a shame if I walk away leaving the person with my opinion on the price of gas (or some other subject) but nothing about my Jesus!  

My opinion matters so very little in the light of eternity. It is my pride that makes me think that my opinion matters. And it is crazy to think it's more important than God’s good news. The last instruction Jesus gave to his followers was spread the gospel and I stand guilty of seldom doing it. So I am committing to obey Him and to telling folks about him whenever I can. My greatest joy would be to see one of them come to church one day, accept Christ and start telling others about what Jesus did for them! I pray for this blessing and so I will continue to tell others about Jesus and leave my opinions for the very last thing because, really, after all, they don’t mean much.

Morning Prayer

This verse is one that I pray through in the mornings before I start the day. I thought I would write it out for myself and for anyone that might want a prayer verse too.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.   ~Galatians 5.22,23 

“God, Please give me love. Before I knew you I could not love at all. It was a shallow, emotional wavering thing that could not stand. But now your love is shed abroad in my heart by your Holy Spirit. This is the love I need for a lost and dying world, for myself, for family, for co-workers, and church brothers and sisters (all those whom you would use to help me grow).  Let me show more of your love to them all. I need the love, deep and abiding, that only your Spirit can give. 

God, Please give me joy! Oh Heavenly Father how joyless my life was before you came into my heart. Yes there was laughter; I worked at it, it was the closest thing to joy I could find. And sometimes I was  happy. But the happiness I had would crumble to the ground whenever circumstances did not support it. Often my laughter came at the expense of other's misery, tearing them down, how shallow is that? I need the joy, deep and abiding, that only your Spirit can give. 

God, Please give me peace. Lord God I had no peace and I have no peace without you. The only peace I knew before was an intellectual one that depended on the promises I knew from your word or from human agencies designed to help me. But I did not own the peace. Now, Oh Father, with your seal in my heart please let me not forget your peace. The stuff that goes beyond any human understanding. I need the peace, deep and abiding, that only your Spirit can give. 

God, Please give me patience. You know me Father, how brash and mean I can be. How immediately angry and frustrated I can be when things or people do not go my way. I took pride in not getting physical but I did worse, I would tear down with words and hammer folks into dust. The only real patience I have ever known and will ever know is the patience that your Holy Spirit has given to me. Oh do not stop, I pray, give me more of your patience, flood me with it and let it cover me like a tent! I need the patience that only your Spirit can give.

God, Please give me kindness. Oh Father you know how mean I can be. When someone does not return my greeting I turn on them.  Because of my total lack of real kindness I require strict pay back. If social proprieties are not followed my kindness runs dry. If I am offended the well of kindness is already empty. Please touch me and give me this kindness of yours. I need the kindness that only your Spirit can give.

God, Please give me goodness. You see all of me and know how short I am on goodness and how really very little I understand it. Even a rattle snake shows enough goodness to rattle before it strikes yet I even lack that amount of goodness.  Lord, I  want the goodness from you. I want to be good to all those around me and even to your creation. I need the goodness that only your Spirit can give.

God, Please give me faithfulness. I stand before you with a history bathed in un-faithfulness. I am marked with the graffiti of un-faithfulness. I have been faithless to you; all the years I lived out my own goodness in the flesh, not really knowing you at all. I have been faithless in my relationships with family, friends and others. How could I have been faithful? I was so corrupt. Please don’t withhold your forgiveness for this sin! I need the faithfulness, deep and abiding, that only your Spirit can give.

God, Please give me gentleness. Oh the deep deep love of Jesus! So gentle. My shepherd. So gentle too me. Help me to have this same gentle spirit, trusting you for any vengeance or justice that I would so very likely mis-handle. Help me to give the mercy to others that you have given to me and to be gentle with all. I need the gentleness that only your Spirit can give.

God, Please give me self-control. Father this one is so easy for me to misunderstand and yet such a joy once I do. The term would seem to lend itself to being misunderstood, it seems that it would come from self, from me, but I have never been up to this task. Your word tells me that self-control is a gift. A gift! Then I can attain even this! My life had no self-control and now I find that you are giving it to me as a gift. What a wonderful God you are to me! I need the self-control that only your Spirit can give.

God, all I have is from you. Every breath I take is a gift, every person I come across a chance to shower with the gifts that you have given me. Thank you Father for the gift of your Spirit. Let me not grieve or quench His work in me. Make me to shine for you, bear me up on eagles wings and hold me in the palm of your hand. Let me speak of you, for you, to others as lost and helpless as I and give the HOPE of the Living God to them! Amen

The Face of Satan

Note: I do not advise dreams being put on the level of scripture, they do not belong there and typically they do not have any power other than emotional but that is not to say God cannot use them. Use caution, care and prayer when applying dreams to the wakeful hours of your life!


I was doing some Bible studies that my pastor had given me and in one of them I became impressed to ask God to reveal any sin in my heart. Sin is so deceptive, it has been compared by some to a cancer and I think that is a pretty good comparison. We may walk around looking normal on the outside but be dying on the inside from cancer. I have a friend who has had cancer for years and it seems like it just keeps appearing randomly throughout his body. One Sunday as he was hurrying out the door I greeted him and he said to me, “I’ve got to get home, the whole side of my head is numb”.  He looked normal but the cancer was at work.

But sin is even more horrible than cancer. We will be healed from cancer but our sin has the potential to lead us into eternal separation from all that is lovely and decent. Right now we live in a world created by God and even though Satan is the prince of the world we can still see and sense the beauty of God’s creation. In fact Paul truly says creation itself testifies of God. Even the non believer enjoys the world we live in and the extreme beauty that surrounds us is immeasurable and shouts of a creator.

My sin and yours too, is a speciality of Satan. How so? Well most of us do not think our sin is so bad and there are millions of others who will chorus satan’s song lauding sin. The Bible tells of satan’s appearing like an angel of light and certainly he does this with sin. Whether it is drugs, sexual immorality,  or whatever, you only need look just a little to see satan’s work at making sin appear “OK”.

So I prayed and asked God to reveal sin in my heart and He did that for me and more, He showed me the face of Satan in my sin. Even though I had been delivered of my sin I still did not view it as God does. I still soft soaped it and, deceived by  myself and a society that hates God’s ways, I still looked upon it as a indulgent grandfather might view the little shortcomings of his grandchildren. What a mistake! Until we see our sin for what it is we are being fooled and are at risk. Confession is not enough, repentance must come along side it for any good effect. So I had prayed and asked God to reveal my sin.

Now I do not put a whole lot of store in dreams but after this prayer I had dreams where my old pet sin played a prominent role. For a series of days this happened and each time I woke I would pray, confess, and thank God for His deliverance. But I am writing this because of the last dream. In it I was confronted with the face of the author of my sin and its awfulness. In this dream all the visions of Satan’s propaganda were passing through my mind each one melting into a face of flames.

You know how it is to wake from a dream, it takes a second to know that you're OK. There was my wife sleeping peacefully beside me. It was only a dream. I began to pray as I lay in bed. God had allowed me to see Satan’s face in my sin. Lord willing I would never again accept the world’s view of my pet sin. I know I will continue to see it, as I walk along, presented with great sympathy and tolerance; embraced by the enlightened ones. I know the real face of my sin and it is abhorrently wicked and a chief among the lies of Satan in this lost world. Don't accept his lies about your sin. He has a world that will tell you it is OK. That is a lie.

That inexpressible and glorious joy the Bible talks about?  Well I know some of it. I am so glad that my Heavenly Father has taken this sin from me! And if He has done this for me He can do anything absolutely ANYTHING! for you. Just ask Him.

God Wants My Heart

For many years I gave God some of me. He had some of my time, some of my thoughts, some of my money, some of my talents, but He never had the sum total of me;  I withheld my heart. I was afraid to give my heart because I was afraid of God. As it turned out my heart was what He required. 

Remember the rich young man in Luke 18 who came to Jesus? He said he’d followed all the rules since he was young. He considered this as making him worthy. Jesus never argued with him about that, he just told him what was required, “sell all you have”, and the rich young man went away sad. The thing required he could not let go of. For him that thing was his wealth and possessions. These things owned his heart. They were his treasure. For each of us God requires our heart.

Jesus will not be second place to anything else in our life. He wants to be our treasure; to be first. He wants to be manifested in our life by the Holy Spirit but we can thwart His work and presence. In fact when God is second place in our life the Holy Spirit is quenched or grieved and is unable to communicate with us until we get things right. (Isa. 59.2) God must turn away from our sin.

If God has my heart, if I am walking in His will, I will sense His presence. Look at Mark 16.20, it tells of the disciples of Jesus doing His will and the Lord “working” with them yet Jesus had gone. How could the Lord be working with them since He was gone? Because they were obedient they enjoyed  fellowship with the Lord through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. They sensed his presence and his working in them.

How do I know if Jesus has my heart or not? This can be tricky as our hearts are pretty adept at fooling us. (Jeremiah 17.9) We need to pray and ask God to reveal it to us. (Psalm 139.1) Another test is to ask yourself if you’re obeying God. Please don’t confuse this with church attendance, Bible study, singing in the choir or teaching a Bible class.  Satan won’t mind if you do all these things; he doesn’t mind that you know all about the Bible because he knows knowledge alone brings pride. (I Cor. 8.1) He hates it, though, when people repent and obey.

At a bakery where I worked the boss was leaving for vacation and he left instructions that, along with what needed to be done regularly, I was to make a batch of cherry pies.  So I made the pies. No big deal right? What if I had not done it? Most of us would never deliberately disobey our boss. My obedience to him in the matter of the pies became the measure of my obedience.

When Jesus left he gave some specific instructions that are as clear as my boss’s instructions were. He commanded us to preach the gospel.  So we need to ask ourselves: are we doing what he asked? When was the last time that I told someone about Jesus? This is a certain measure of my obedience to him. It is hard to side step this issue. 

Sure you’re in the choir, a hard worker at church but these are like the regular things I did at the bakery. The pies were the priority and measure of my true obedience to my boss. What if, when he returned and asked about the pies I told him I’d decided to make sugar cookies instead?  It is wrong to be involved in good things and neglect to do the best thing. Jesus told us to spread the gospel. How are we doing?

If God seems distant it might be because we are living our busy “christian” lives in disobedience to him. So what can we do? We need to move from being hearers of the word, to doers of the word. We need to repent. We need to change what we are doing and start doing what Jesus commanded us to do: preach the gospel. The gospel is the good news. It is  the Bible for sure but it is also your testimony. We do not have to be a preacher or theologian to share the gospel. Just tell the truth about what God the Father, His Son and the Holy Spirit have done and are doing in your life. And if nothing is happening then go to Him and ask Him to start a work in your life. 

God wanted my heart and once I’d given him than he was able to start a work in me. He made a new creation of me, now I need to continue to make myself available to him in order to grow and be more like Jesus. He is wanting to make me new each day. I need to listen and submit. When he has my heart I will desire to obey him, I will feel his presence and he will work in me just as he did in the lives of his disciples.